John Lennon's Four Loves: 3 Women and A Man, Part IV
In the fourth and final installment of our mini series on the true loves of John Lennon, we discuss the most unlikely person in the whole group. The woman who was an assistant to John and Yoko in the aftermath of the Beatles breakup.
John Lennon with assistant May Pang, 1973.
We draw again from Larry Kane's "Lennon Revealed," Running Press, 2005.
In the aftermath of the Beatles breakup, two general groups of public opinion arose. One were the fans who wrote letters, organized even more Fan Clubs, interviewed with any magazine that would listen to them. All positing the suspicion that Yoko was responsible for the friction within the Beatles and thus, the band broke up because of her. The press was far worse. John and Yoko were routinely portrayed as a runaway train wreck constantly happening. The pressure on the two was fearsome, to say the least.
Add to that, the Nixon Administration's efforts to get John deported back to England on the basis of his "admission" to having drugs in his apartment in 1968. *John pleaded guilty to spare Yoko any further prosecution at the time. The arresting officer on the scene in the Fall of 1968 was a Sgt. Norman Pilcher who was later sent to prison for falsely setting up well known people for fake drug busts.
Says Yoko, "In the United States, John and I started to have all sorts of trouble because of our stand for peace when the country was at war in Vietnam. Immigration was trying to kick us out. We were followed by men in dark suits and black cars. Our phones were tapped. The tension was mounting."
It all came to a head on election night, 1972. Yoko continues:
"On the evening when we found out that McGovern lost to Nixon, John and I were in the studio mixing some songs. John was very upset. Then {political activist} Jerry Rubin called and told us that he was giving a party at his apartment in the Village and we should come. So we did. By the time Jerry opened the door to let us in, John was so high, his words were slurring.
"The party was a gathering of New York intellectuals, writers, and journalists. John grabbed a girl, went into the next room and they started to make love noisily. Somebody put a record on, with the intent to cover the noise. But the walls were paper-thin and the music hardly covered the noise. All the coats were in that room, too. So all of us felt like we were stuck, just sitting there, facing the wall to the next room. Finally, some girl bravely went into the next room, took her coat and left. One by one, people did that. I noticed through the window that it was getting light outside. So I looked around and noticed that everybody left except our assistant Peter.
"After that night, I started thinking; the world hated us for being together. Still, it made sense to be together if we were in love, so desperately as we were. But, if it's like this, there's no excuse to stay together. That's what I thought.
"It still took some time before I suggested to John that we should split for awhile. So we did. That was the beginning of the 'lost weekend.' John said, 'But I don't want to loose you.' I said, 'But we'd loose each other anyway if we stayed together.' It was sad, but I felt that we didn't have much choice. So I told him to go."
According to Yoko, John was afraid to be alone. But she kicked him out anyway. "I just said, 'Look, we're both still young, sexy, beautiful, and intelligent (laughs). What are we doing?' He (John) never had been by himself for the longest time. In the Beatle days, he had a lot of people around him -the entourage- and by going with me, and by announcing to the world that this was the love of his life, or something, he lost everybody. He burnt his bridges, major. So I felt responsible for that."
Thus it came to pass, in the fateful Fall of 1973, Yoko Ono realized before John did, that their love affair had hit a brick wall. Not being a shy wall flower either, Yoko took decisive action. In addition to kicking him out, she suggested he take a lover. And not just any lover, one that Yoko herself personally selected and approved of. In the world of John Lennon anything was possible.
Yoko suggested that John go off with May Pang, the young, gorgeous Asian-American woman who had served as John and Yoko's assistant for several years. Yoko said, "She's the one. She should go with him. I would do that for this man who lost everything for his love for me."
John and May Pang at Disney Land.
Off they went. John headed straight for LA. Yoko recalls that she never reckoned that the affair would last as long as it did or that it would ultimately cause so much pain.
May would call Yoko regularly complaining about John's aggressive and often infantile behavior.*(This is all completely refuted by May Pang herself who insisted that it was Yoko calling up to 15 times a day trying to find out what John and her were up to. Although, it is true that John did make the occasional call to Yoko) Did Yoko want to cave and ask John back? "It was the other way around," says Yoko. "John was always saying, 'Let me come back.' But I didn't think it was a good idea. I don't think you understand what it's like to be hated and humiliated by the whole world. Now, you can say I was proud. My pride was hurt, yes. But it was not good for John, either. We were like those classic doomed lovers that even made gods and goddesses jealous and angry." (*May Pang refuted that too saying John didn't want to go back. Somehow Yoko reeled him in, in the end)
John had always been on a collision course with the dark side of life. This was his moment to come face to face with his other destiny. He needed the dark release and he found it in the arms of a woman his wife had chosen for him. It was at this point, during the Fall of 1973 and forward that John Lennon's life and career would hit rock bottom.
As for May Pang; she obviously had no idea what she had gotten herself into.
May Pang has been universally treated as an afterthought. A comma in the fabulous story of John Lennon. As Larry Kane points out, even in the otherwise magnificent biography of John Lennon by Ray Coleman called: Lennon: the Definitive Biography, Coleman dismisses the relationship between John and May and never even thought to interview her.
To ignore the impact of May Pang is folly. Consider that her friendship and/or romance with John lasted a full 10 years going back to 1970 until the day John died in 1980. Suffice it to say, May Pang is the unlikely heroine in the story of John Lennon's life. Her involvement with John was far more than the irrelevant side show that it has traditionally been relegated to.
Beatle insiders and Lennon friends consistently have a very deep affection for May, while at the same time respect the bond between Yoko and John. We turn again to the venerable Tony Bramwell, often quoted in this blog on other entries, to provide some important and relevant perspective on this:
"I think Yoko stifled him (John) a lot. I don't think she understood the fun surrounding the Beatles. The seventies were an unhappy time for John with all those weird musical experiments. His Yokoness period also included all that avant-garde stuff. May was a good human being. .. . . .he could go back to his roots of being a rock star. She allowed him to enjoy himself. While Yoko cut everybody out of his life, May let him see his friends."
Adam Steckler, the Apple executive who actually hired May, has a slightly different twist on the whole situation:
"I adored May, and so did John. But Yoko gave John his creative impetus. Yoko is a creative woman who was into a lot of things, especially herself, but over and over again, she did things to create situations that made John think. And when John started thinking, he was the most creative man in the world."
May Pang herself has a very interesting take on the whole thing, "Yoko thought of John as not a very bright person, and she could never understand why people admired him. And she used to say this to a lot of musicians; that she's the songwriter in the family. He was . . . . crying for help . . . . . .he obviously was having a hard time with Yoko. She was becoming more of a dominant figure . . . . I think she didn't find John stimulating enough fo her. He was upset because he wasn't creating like he wanted to.
"She made it (the lost weekend) happen because she wanted more freedom for herself to do her thing. She thought that nothing could ever destroy their relationship. John would just come back. She thought . . . . . it was a sexual thing and that in two weeks after he got his rocks off, that he would come back."
John Lennon and May Pang left for California in November 1973. During their time out there, November 1973 through March of 1974 (John and May would return to NYC in late March of 1974 only to stay in Greenwhich Village for another year), May tried to bring a sense of normalcy to John's life. In a seminal moment throughout this time, especially for a man who had been abandoned by his own father, John was reunited with his son Julian, then 10 years old. May Pang made the arrangements. Cynthia Lennon accompanied little Julian at the time and John acted as though he had didn't know her. May Pang scolded John for the slight and took it upon herself to be friends with Cynthia. The two women had a common love for John and a common enemy in Yoko. May made John call Julian every weekend from then on and thus played a huge part in bringing his estranged son back into John's life. John secretly loved the fact that May was so stable.
However, the inevitable happened; May fell totally and completely in love with John. It became difficult with Yoko calling all the time and demanding to know what was going on in LA and later back in New York. Add to that, John's legendary drinking binges, his endemic drug intake and late night carousing with his carousing buddies, Keith Moon (the Who) and Harry Nilsson. Keeping John clean and sober was a daunting task and a constant uphill battle for May. It was during this time that John was caught wearing a Tampax on his forehead during a Smothers Brothers show, for example, at The Troubadour Club in West Hollywood. He was so drunk some nights, he couldn't stand up. He was also at a creative stand still. What exactly happened out there may never be completely known but one thing is sure; John went back to Yoko. On the weekend of February 1, 1975, May knew the end was near.
Yoko called demanding that John come home that night just for dinner. He told May that he would return promptly and that maybe he and May could go and visit Paul and Linda McCartney down in New Orleans. He said he would love to hook up with Paul again. But when John walked out the door that evening, May knew he wasn't coming back.
The friendship between John Lennon and May Pang continued secretly until his death. He too had fallen in love and wanted her as much as she wanted him. But he was still transfixed with his wife, Yoko and couldn't, ultimately leave her. There were secret phone calls to May from John as well as secret encounters for the rest of his life.
John's time with May was hardly a fling. She represented a true, non-competitive mother figure to him and he adored and loved her for it. She wanted what was best for him and did her best to keep him out of trouble. In the end, John still needed a fellow artist to be with and that was Yoko's great strength; she could reel John back in with artistic sentiment. Still, May Pang was the last great love of John's life and her love was a gift to John in the most uncertain time of his life.
By John Haberstroh (Bassist for BeatleTracks) Find us at www.beatletracksband.com
John Lennon with assistant May Pang, 1973.
We draw again from Larry Kane's "Lennon Revealed," Running Press, 2005.
In the aftermath of the Beatles breakup, two general groups of public opinion arose. One were the fans who wrote letters, organized even more Fan Clubs, interviewed with any magazine that would listen to them. All positing the suspicion that Yoko was responsible for the friction within the Beatles and thus, the band broke up because of her. The press was far worse. John and Yoko were routinely portrayed as a runaway train wreck constantly happening. The pressure on the two was fearsome, to say the least.
Add to that, the Nixon Administration's efforts to get John deported back to England on the basis of his "admission" to having drugs in his apartment in 1968. *John pleaded guilty to spare Yoko any further prosecution at the time. The arresting officer on the scene in the Fall of 1968 was a Sgt. Norman Pilcher who was later sent to prison for falsely setting up well known people for fake drug busts.
Says Yoko, "In the United States, John and I started to have all sorts of trouble because of our stand for peace when the country was at war in Vietnam. Immigration was trying to kick us out. We were followed by men in dark suits and black cars. Our phones were tapped. The tension was mounting."
It all came to a head on election night, 1972. Yoko continues:
"On the evening when we found out that McGovern lost to Nixon, John and I were in the studio mixing some songs. John was very upset. Then {political activist} Jerry Rubin called and told us that he was giving a party at his apartment in the Village and we should come. So we did. By the time Jerry opened the door to let us in, John was so high, his words were slurring.
"The party was a gathering of New York intellectuals, writers, and journalists. John grabbed a girl, went into the next room and they started to make love noisily. Somebody put a record on, with the intent to cover the noise. But the walls were paper-thin and the music hardly covered the noise. All the coats were in that room, too. So all of us felt like we were stuck, just sitting there, facing the wall to the next room. Finally, some girl bravely went into the next room, took her coat and left. One by one, people did that. I noticed through the window that it was getting light outside. So I looked around and noticed that everybody left except our assistant Peter.
"After that night, I started thinking; the world hated us for being together. Still, it made sense to be together if we were in love, so desperately as we were. But, if it's like this, there's no excuse to stay together. That's what I thought.
"It still took some time before I suggested to John that we should split for awhile. So we did. That was the beginning of the 'lost weekend.' John said, 'But I don't want to loose you.' I said, 'But we'd loose each other anyway if we stayed together.' It was sad, but I felt that we didn't have much choice. So I told him to go."
According to Yoko, John was afraid to be alone. But she kicked him out anyway. "I just said, 'Look, we're both still young, sexy, beautiful, and intelligent (laughs). What are we doing?' He (John) never had been by himself for the longest time. In the Beatle days, he had a lot of people around him -the entourage- and by going with me, and by announcing to the world that this was the love of his life, or something, he lost everybody. He burnt his bridges, major. So I felt responsible for that."
Thus it came to pass, in the fateful Fall of 1973, Yoko Ono realized before John did, that their love affair had hit a brick wall. Not being a shy wall flower either, Yoko took decisive action. In addition to kicking him out, she suggested he take a lover. And not just any lover, one that Yoko herself personally selected and approved of. In the world of John Lennon anything was possible.
Yoko suggested that John go off with May Pang, the young, gorgeous Asian-American woman who had served as John and Yoko's assistant for several years. Yoko said, "She's the one. She should go with him. I would do that for this man who lost everything for his love for me."
John and May Pang at Disney Land. Off they went. John headed straight for LA. Yoko recalls that she never reckoned that the affair would last as long as it did or that it would ultimately cause so much pain.
May would call Yoko regularly complaining about John's aggressive and often infantile behavior.*(This is all completely refuted by May Pang herself who insisted that it was Yoko calling up to 15 times a day trying to find out what John and her were up to. Although, it is true that John did make the occasional call to Yoko) Did Yoko want to cave and ask John back? "It was the other way around," says Yoko. "John was always saying, 'Let me come back.' But I didn't think it was a good idea. I don't think you understand what it's like to be hated and humiliated by the whole world. Now, you can say I was proud. My pride was hurt, yes. But it was not good for John, either. We were like those classic doomed lovers that even made gods and goddesses jealous and angry." (*May Pang refuted that too saying John didn't want to go back. Somehow Yoko reeled him in, in the end)
John had always been on a collision course with the dark side of life. This was his moment to come face to face with his other destiny. He needed the dark release and he found it in the arms of a woman his wife had chosen for him. It was at this point, during the Fall of 1973 and forward that John Lennon's life and career would hit rock bottom.
As for May Pang; she obviously had no idea what she had gotten herself into.
May Pang has been universally treated as an afterthought. A comma in the fabulous story of John Lennon. As Larry Kane points out, even in the otherwise magnificent biography of John Lennon by Ray Coleman called: Lennon: the Definitive Biography, Coleman dismisses the relationship between John and May and never even thought to interview her.
To ignore the impact of May Pang is folly. Consider that her friendship and/or romance with John lasted a full 10 years going back to 1970 until the day John died in 1980. Suffice it to say, May Pang is the unlikely heroine in the story of John Lennon's life. Her involvement with John was far more than the irrelevant side show that it has traditionally been relegated to.
Beatle insiders and Lennon friends consistently have a very deep affection for May, while at the same time respect the bond between Yoko and John. We turn again to the venerable Tony Bramwell, often quoted in this blog on other entries, to provide some important and relevant perspective on this:
"I think Yoko stifled him (John) a lot. I don't think she understood the fun surrounding the Beatles. The seventies were an unhappy time for John with all those weird musical experiments. His Yokoness period also included all that avant-garde stuff. May was a good human being. .. . . .he could go back to his roots of being a rock star. She allowed him to enjoy himself. While Yoko cut everybody out of his life, May let him see his friends."
Adam Steckler, the Apple executive who actually hired May, has a slightly different twist on the whole situation:
"I adored May, and so did John. But Yoko gave John his creative impetus. Yoko is a creative woman who was into a lot of things, especially herself, but over and over again, she did things to create situations that made John think. And when John started thinking, he was the most creative man in the world."
May Pang herself has a very interesting take on the whole thing, "Yoko thought of John as not a very bright person, and she could never understand why people admired him. And she used to say this to a lot of musicians; that she's the songwriter in the family. He was . . . . crying for help . . . . . .he obviously was having a hard time with Yoko. She was becoming more of a dominant figure . . . . I think she didn't find John stimulating enough fo her. He was upset because he wasn't creating like he wanted to.
"She made it (the lost weekend) happen because she wanted more freedom for herself to do her thing. She thought that nothing could ever destroy their relationship. John would just come back. She thought . . . . . it was a sexual thing and that in two weeks after he got his rocks off, that he would come back."
John Lennon and May Pang left for California in November 1973. During their time out there, November 1973 through March of 1974 (John and May would return to NYC in late March of 1974 only to stay in Greenwhich Village for another year), May tried to bring a sense of normalcy to John's life. In a seminal moment throughout this time, especially for a man who had been abandoned by his own father, John was reunited with his son Julian, then 10 years old. May Pang made the arrangements. Cynthia Lennon accompanied little Julian at the time and John acted as though he had didn't know her. May Pang scolded John for the slight and took it upon herself to be friends with Cynthia. The two women had a common love for John and a common enemy in Yoko. May made John call Julian every weekend from then on and thus played a huge part in bringing his estranged son back into John's life. John secretly loved the fact that May was so stable.
However, the inevitable happened; May fell totally and completely in love with John. It became difficult with Yoko calling all the time and demanding to know what was going on in LA and later back in New York. Add to that, John's legendary drinking binges, his endemic drug intake and late night carousing with his carousing buddies, Keith Moon (the Who) and Harry Nilsson. Keeping John clean and sober was a daunting task and a constant uphill battle for May. It was during this time that John was caught wearing a Tampax on his forehead during a Smothers Brothers show, for example, at The Troubadour Club in West Hollywood. He was so drunk some nights, he couldn't stand up. He was also at a creative stand still. What exactly happened out there may never be completely known but one thing is sure; John went back to Yoko. On the weekend of February 1, 1975, May knew the end was near.
Yoko called demanding that John come home that night just for dinner. He told May that he would return promptly and that maybe he and May could go and visit Paul and Linda McCartney down in New Orleans. He said he would love to hook up with Paul again. But when John walked out the door that evening, May knew he wasn't coming back.
The friendship between John Lennon and May Pang continued secretly until his death. He too had fallen in love and wanted her as much as she wanted him. But he was still transfixed with his wife, Yoko and couldn't, ultimately leave her. There were secret phone calls to May from John as well as secret encounters for the rest of his life.
John's time with May was hardly a fling. She represented a true, non-competitive mother figure to him and he adored and loved her for it. She wanted what was best for him and did her best to keep him out of trouble. In the end, John still needed a fellow artist to be with and that was Yoko's great strength; she could reel John back in with artistic sentiment. Still, May Pang was the last great love of John's life and her love was a gift to John in the most uncertain time of his life.
By John Haberstroh (Bassist for BeatleTracks) Find us at www.beatletracksband.com
Have you read May Pang's memoir "Loving John"? Be sure to find that one, not the 2nd edition which was cut down. If you're gonna write about May Pang you have to at least read her side.
Reply to this